A Time To Heal

So it was about a week ago since I wrote my last blog.What a week it has been! The Bible tells us there is a time for everything. Even tough it doesn't say a time to heal it does say there is a time for EVERYTHING. It never tells us what is going to happen to us in every season, that's because we all handle things in our life differently. For some reason when life is too much for me to handle I shut down. I don't answer my phone, I don't talk to my family, I only get dressed if necessary. Probably not the best way to handle a situation that isn't going to disappear, but this is what I do. My brain just needs time to process what is going on, or my emotions would lead my life...NO ONE wants that, especially Doug....tick, tick, tick, tick, BOOOOOOMMMM. Yea that would be me.
The thoughts that I've been processing in the last week have been my loss, my relationship with my husband, being a failure, feeling abandon. Not to mention word has come that my husband has been reduced at work (thank God not laid off) which comes with a five dollar an hour reduction in pay. SIGH. Don't know about you, but there are whole years sometimes that my mind and emotions don't have to deal with this much. Add on top of that I'm sooooo tired I could just sleep all day, an my body is still adjusting to hormonal issues. Thinking my desire to sleep may have something with my chronic anemia. I'm also having trouble having the doc I saw last week to check it. Like it would be sooo hard to add it to the blood work they are already checking, I hate the system!
 So how am I handling all of this? Some days well, others not so. One day I cried so hard I ended up with a migraine. This is what led me not to answer my phone, not check my e mail and avoid direct contact with people outside my house. Today I slept till one, thank God the kids didn't have classes today. My dishes have seen better days, as has the rest of my home. House work all together has been put on the back burner. I don't think I've not  been this affectionate with my husband since the years where we almost split. This in no way means we are going to part ways. We each have our ways of dealing with things, unfortunately we both pull back emotionally when under different situations. After all one of the seasons the Bible does speak of is a time not to embrace. We have never pulled back at the same time. We have always risen when the other was down, we're not use to being down at the same time. It's OK we are in the same season at the same time.
   So what keeps me going? My kiddos. Knowing I have to get them fed, I have to keep their education going, I have to make sure they don't kill each other. I know this is just going to last a time. I saw a sign a week ago that has spoken to me strongly. It said "Don't focus so much on what you've lost that you forget what you have." I've greatly been blessed with the six children God has given me! I do mourn for the one I've lost, but push forward for the ones God has allowed me to keep.  I'm tring to show my kids day by day I love them and would do anything for them. Teaching them that even though life isn't always sunshine and roses God is God, He's sovern and in control of everything. Showing them even in hard times my love for them doesn't change. Being an example for their future even though as a couple their dad and I are down, we still love each other, and a relationship with your spouse doesn't end in a hard time. Life can throw you a curve ball, but it marches on. Life is what YOU make it even in the hard times.
   
   My time to heal may take longer than it may take someone else. You may not understand my grieving, or the way I handle situations in my life, but this is MY time to heal. Who knows where I'll be in a week or a month, but I feel as long as I'm going forward at least I''m not standing still, and for sure not going backwards. Right now is a time to heal, but I know soon I'll have a time to laugh again.

WHEN I REFER TO YOU NO WAY AM I REFERRING TO ANY ONE PERSON IN PARTICULAR

Ecclesiastes 3 (King James Version)

1 To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven:2 A time to be born , and a time to die ; a time to plant , and a time to pluck up that which is planted ; 3 A time to kill , and a time to heal ; a time to break down , and a time to build up ; 4 A time to weep , and a time to laugh ; a time to mourn , and a time to dance ; 5 A time to cast awaystones, and a time to gatherstones together ; a time to embrace , and a time to refrain from embracing ; 6 A time to get , and a time to lose ; a time to keep , and a time to cast away ; 7 A time to rend , and a time to sew ; a time to keep silence , and a time to speak ; 8 A time to love , and a time to hate ; a time of war, and a time of peace.9 What profit hath he that worketh in that wherein he laboureth?10 I have seen the travail, which God hath given to the sons of men to be exercised in it. 11 He hath made every thing beautiful in his time: also he hath set the world in their heart, so that no man can find out the work that God maketh from the beginning to the end.12 I know that there is no good in them, but for a man to rejoice , and to dogood in his life.13 And also that every man should eat and drink , and enjoy the good of all his labour, it is the gift of God.14 I know that, whatsoever God doeth , it shall be for ever: nothing can be put to it, nor any thing taken from it: and God doeth it, that men should fearbefore him. 15 That which hath been is now; and that which is to be hath already been; and God requireth that which is past .16 And moreover I saw under the sun the place of judgment, that wickedness was there; and the place of righteousness, that iniquity was there. 17 I said in mine heart, God shall judge the righteous and the wicked: for there is a time there for every purpose and for every work.18 I said in mine heart concerning the estate of the sons of men, that God might manifest them, and that they might see that they themselves are beasts.19 For that which befalleth the sons of men befalleth beasts; even one thing befalleth them: as the one dieth, so dieth the other; yea, they have all one breath; so that a man hath no preeminence above a beast: for all is vanity.20 All go unto one place; all are of the dust, and all turn to dust again . 21 Who knoweth the spirit of man that goethupward, and the spirit of the beast that goethdownward to the earth?22 Wherefore I perceive that there is nothing better, than that a man should rejoice in his own works; for that is his portion: for who shall bring him to see what shall be after him?