Monday, August 11, 2014

My Big Family: I'm Too Busy For A Hobby


     Having a large family I have heard it all. There are things I hate and things I love, today I'm going to lay it all out for you the best and worst.
     So many times when I tell someone that I have seven, yes seven children the questions and comments begin. The most asked one is "Are you done now?" These are questions that most of the time are no ones business, and they expect an honest answer. I would love to yell at the top of my lungs "Why do you think it's any of your business?" Instead I usually reply that I don't know what God has planned for my family. If I tell them about Janavieve's miracle most of the time I get advice how I need to be done having kids instead of people acknowledging what God has done. I wish people would get the point.
     I think one of the funniest things is when people refer to our family to being like the Duggers. Yes having seven kids is JUST LIKE having 19....really?
     I think the most annoying comments are
1. You need a hobby or
2. You need a TV in your room.
I usually just smile and nod, but for all of you reading this I will answer both of these with my honest replies.
1. If you think I am not busy, then you don't know me. Where would I ever fit a hobby in? I take care of seven children, which is enough to keep anyone busy. I also homeschool, nurse a new baby, pump every 3 to 6 hours to donate milk to babies who need it, take college classes, lead our children's ministry. My life is too busy to pick up a hobby.
2. I have a TV in my room. My hubby and I don't even sleep in the same room. Some people think just because we have seven kids all we do is have sex. I wish people would use their brain before stupid things would fly out of their mouth.
     Another annoying question I hear too often is "Do you know how that happens?" In the back of my mind I'm thinking "No I stupid, please ed u cate me" or "yes I do and enjoy it very much." Seriously do people expect me to answer such stupid questions?
    You always run into those who need filters from their brain to their mouths. I can never get over those that ask me if I am going to get "fixed" now. Last time I checked I worked fine. What exactly about me is broken?
     I could go on for pages with the crazy things people say. I must say the good outweighs the bad when it comes to having a big family. I love watching my oldest turning into a wonderful young man. The wisdom that comes from him at times sounds like it should be coming from a gray haired old man.
     Saturday's in our house are different than they were when I grew up. I use to spend the day watching cartoons and eating cereal. Now most Saturday's are filled with laughter and squeals of children playing, and sometimes fighting. I know they are forming a bond that will last a lifetime.
     I love watching my husband fall asleep with a little one in his arms. I know our time is so limited to having them want and need to be held. Better than watching a bond form between my husband and our little ones is forming that bond with them myself. I use to be so busy with housework and making sure everything was perfect I was forgetting to take time out to hold and snuggle my little ones. Judah woke up this morning and looked at me with a big smile and his little dimples as big as they could be. I was sitting on the reclining chair cuddling the baby who had just waken up herself. I asked him if he wanted to sit with mommy. The look on his face reminded me of Christmas morning. I got a bonus this morning, I got double cuddles.
     Spending time with my 12 year old daughter seems like it is always changing as she is getting older. I am reminded constantly that she is becoming a young woman, and before I know it she will be grown and gone. Our time has gone from talking about her lil pets and Barbie's to nail polish and shoes all within the last year. I love watching her learn to care for he baby sister. She is learning key things she will need to know when she becomes a mother someday. I love that I get to show her how. 
     On the bright side of the snarky comments are the ones that make you feel you are doing something right. I love sharing Janavieve's testimony and touching someone's heart. One of the best comments I have ever gotten about my family is when we have gone out. Many times I have had people dining next to us, or waiters telling us how well behaved our children are. Two years ago I had four of the kids at Panara and a gentleman came up to us and said he had never seen such well behaved children and paid for their meal. I have also had people tell us when we are out how beautiful our family is and how you never see big families anymore. It seems like big families are a thing of the past, and if you have more than three you are in the minority. With being an only child till I was 17 a full house is a welcome change for me.
     Teaching our children how to do things for the first time is priceless. I love that we get to repeat many of them time after time with each of the kids. Remember how it felt when your child learned how to ride a bike the first time? Or the first time your child read a book on their own? I get to experience that seven times. There are other things that some kids will do that others will not. Josiah use to play soccer. I remember his excitement when he would kick a goal. None of my other kids have interest in soccer so I may never have that with any of the other kids. Every child is different and every accomplishment feels like a special holiday.
     A quiet house is something that I never want, except at bed time. I expect with all the children we have that as we grow old, young laughs will continue to fill our home. I plan on having a lifetime of firsts with my family till the day I die. I plan to never be lonely or bored. The happiness that fills my life with children will never end.